Making it to the top.

I had a wonderful morning. I got up at 5:00 am and was very productive all day. Then I thought making a calendar where I can plan ideas and appointments ahead is a wonderful idea. So I did. While trying to plan and writing my ideas down, I stressed, freaked out and became mentally blocked. The only way of coping I know is biting my fingernails and watching random YouTube videos. Obviously, it is very important to know where you want to go, but not knowing – how – can make me very anxious. So I became overwhelmed. Putting down on paper the stuff I need to do, but don’t know how to do yet, let me freak out. Biting my nails and watching random Youtube videos was the result. How can I get out of this and back to being productive? I put the calendar aside and looked at my ‘To Do List’ for today. Right away, I knew: Girl, you need to live day by day and give every day your best. The answers will show up. But all you can do is give TODAY. I am at the bottom and looking at the top of the mountain. It made me freak out and paralysed my actions. I just sat there staring at the top, biting my nails, not knowing how I could ever make it. It saved me to come back to the point: What was I am planning to do today? There are many things I can do today for my goal. I saw the trail again. Even the cabin, which was my daily goal to reach did not seem far anymore. I can do it! I can even have fun while hiking there. Most people don’t even start to try to get to the top because it seems impossible for them to make it. Others get lost while hiking, other stagnate because on their way they have been looking to the top and became overwhelmed. All of it happened to me. I know my goal, I can see the top, I can see that it is so high that it seems impossible to reach, it is so high that it scares me. But short day hikes, from cabin to cabin, are a lot of fun. I enjoy the nature. I enjoy my life. Day by day, step by step, small goal to small goal, cabin to cabin. Do you know where that leads?



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